It didn’t happen…

The Moto Quest - Scott Goldsbury Photography 01Today was a weird day with strange energy patterns…
I was supposed to go for my final test ride and it didn’t happen.

I woke up in the morning and my body was aching of exhaustion and I felt mentally and emotional tired and empty. So far you have seen a lot of my sparkly and excited side, but of course there are different moments, too.
Fear. Uncertainty. Loneliness. Heartache.
The last few days a lot of these emotions came through and they are just as much part of my quest as all the happy feelings.

After announcing today’s ride, I felt guilty of not going and quite annoyed by the fact that’ll postpone my departure by at least another day or two.
Once I had accepted my own decision of not riding today, my film team from Java got me in front of the camera for a long and sensitive interview, which will be part of the documentary we are putting together. It wasn’t easy for me to talk about it into a camera, but in order to share my journey authentically, a very important step.



I learned a new Indonesian word today, that is of great importance for me: Sabar
Which means, be patient/calm.

Impatience is one of my largest weaknesses and I sometimes literally forget to breathe. I have no doubt that The Moto Quest will be a good teacher for character endurance training.


Here is a little video diary entry about the test ride that didn’t happen today:

Photo: Scott Goldsbury Photography

16 thoughts on “It didn’t happen…

  1. Dear Aileen,

    Your journey did start today and you learned some good lessons. 1) listen to your instincts. 2) You are on a great and long adventure and must accept the timetable it presents you with. You are not on a timetable. You are on an expedition!!!

    Please do not waste time feeling sad or guilty. We all appreciate your determination, respect the physical effort in organizing and DOING this and really like you, the person, who is sharing your fears and joy with us. Good and bad days are to be expected. We are with you all the way.

    Peace and love from Las Vegas.

    1. Tom, you are amazing!! Thank you so so much for your love, support and words of friendship. You give me shivers and you are touching my heart.
      Yes, this adventure truly holds a lot of lessons for me to learn. One of my biggest weaknesses is my impatience and even tho Australia and Bali have taught me a bit more of a “no worries” attitude, I am still far away from a calm mind.
      I feel like with the decision of sharing this adventure on social media comes a responsibility to “deliver”… I had to remind myself that its is MY journey, MY body, My life. If I ever need a reminder again, please feel free to reach out to me

      Please feel my deepest gratitude traveling around the globe to hug you warmly.

      Love, light and blessings to you
      Thank you so so much for everything!


  2. Sei mal nicht so hart zu dir selbst. Guck doch mal wie weit du bisher gekommen bist! Vor einem halben Jahr war alles nur eine Idee….ein Traum…und jetzt hast du dein eigenes Motorrad zusammen gebaut, eine Homepage erstellt, Sponsoren akquiriert, 1850 likes bei facebook….:-)
    Da macht ein Tag mehr oder weniger auch nichts aus.

    1. Mein liebes Blümchen,
      Ja, ja… Story of my life, huh? Manchmal muss man einen Schritt zurücktreten um das ganze in der Perspektive von der Fliege an der Wand (oder mit den Augen eines Freundes) zu sehen… So viel ist geschehen und ja, wow, wer hätte das gedacht!!

      Danke, dass du mich daran erinnerst und mit deinem grossen Herz an meiner Seite mitreist.

      Lieb dich!!

  3. Aileen i am loving your Journey so much – there is no right or wrong as you are finding out a the things that are ment to happen – will happen – when their ment to xoxoxoxo

    1. Jenny, you sweet curly head! I am missing you and I wish I could spend a few days with you being silly and hanging with a rad woman that gets me… Let me know if your boat ever brings you my way.
      Thank you for sharing your thought with me here.

      Massiv hug!

  4. One stop at a time. Listen to your mind and your spirit. There will be times whey they both say go and other times when they say stop.
    As time goes on you will hear the small voices in your head and you will KNOW.

    Today is just the first of such days.
    There will be more.
    Learn to Listen

  5. Please don’t feal guilty. You did the right thing. I’ve talked to a number of riders that ignored that bad feeling and went ahead and rode only to get hurt. That little voice or feeling of intuition often times is something telling you what your concious mind can’t see.
    You have a long journey ahead, and a day or two of rest is only a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of it all.

    1. Yes Dave, very very true. I am sure this journey will teach me a lot about all that. Even tho I am a person that is pretty in tune with her body, I do tend to create an unhealthy pressure for myself.
      I am just longing so so much to start what I have been dreaming, talking and writing about for the last 5-7 months…

      Thanks for being with me and believing in what I do <3

  6. My dear Aileen,

    is it a German thing that we always want to hold up to our selfmade time schedule & appointments? In the end it´s like you said…you are the one forcing yourself to go, feeling guilty about the pressure you build up inside. But I do believe in signs, I do believe in listening to your gut & heart… I guess that really is your journey, to learn more about yourself, to go with the flow & to get interrupted, to stay a bit longer as planned wherever you are…

    On a personal note: I really love what you are doing! You are one inspiring, amazing & very beautiful person – from the inside & out. And simply because you show us not only your sparkly, happy & excited side but also your weak & sad one, it is what makes you wonderful & real. I hope you never forget that!!! <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *